The Performance Power of Connection

Why Connection Isn’t a Soft Skill — It’s a Performance Strategy

In performance-driven settings like Defence and aviation, we often gauge excellence through mission outcomes, precise execution, and resilience. However, there’s a powerful enabler that’s often overlooked: Human Connection. It’s not a soft skill; it’s a crucial performance strategy.

Connection acts as a human performance multiplier—much like the KC-30A tanker aircraft, which is a force multiplier: it extends range, enhances impact, and allows more to be achieved with less. The same applies to connection—benefiting teams, individuals, and anyone aiming to sustain high performance.

I was reminded of this at the recent Australian Women Pilots Association (AWPA) national conference in Busselton, Western Australia, where I was honoured to sit on a panel discussing mindset and mastery. I shared the stage with legends—Skye Talbot, Natalee Johnston, and Brodie Sweenie—each a standout in their own field of aviation. In a room packed with women aged 16 to over 80, we shared stories, insights, and ideas. All of them Aviators. All of them skyward bound.

The conference and connections felt raw, raucous, and genuine. There was laughter, vulnerability, and more than one moment of deep resonance that only happens when people truly see and support each other’s journeys. It was not about competition but collaboration. It wasn't just professional advice but shared, heartfelt support for each other's ambitions. These moments represented recognition, collective effort, and bravery in a space that continues to strive for gender parity.

It made me wonder—why has it taken me so long to connect with a group that exists to support women in reaching their goals in aviation? Was I proud of my independence? Of believing I didn’t need connection to thrive? If so, I’ve only been limiting myself.

Let me share an insight from my five-year-old daughter, Maddie. Her attitude towards school shifts significantly depending on whether she feels connected to a special friend who shares her day. When that bond exists—when she knows her friend will be at school—she awakens cheerful and alert. She bounces out of bed, dresses herself with purpose and gets ready for her day with confidence. She races through the school gate, radiating happiness.

However, when her friend is not there, her mood is quite different. She moves more slowly, needs extra encouragement, and hesitates at the classroom door. It's the same school, same teacher, same routine—yet her mood and overall experience change with her feeling of connectedness.

It’s a vivid reminder that connection fuels readiness, engagement, and the willingness to take on a challenge, whether we’re five, thirty-five, or flying at 35,000 feet.

The science is clear. The Harvard Study of Adult Development—most recently led by Dr. Robert Waldinger—is one of the world's longest and most respected longitudinal studies. Spanning over 80 years, its most notable finding is this: “Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.” The quality of our relationships predicts long-term health, resilience, and even memory better than income, IQ, or genetics. In terms of performance, connection fosters endurance.

At the AWPA conference, I met women from all corners of aviation—recreational pilots, airline captains, flying instructors, and military aviators alike. We shared stories, laughed at our failures, celebrated our successes, and shared the kinds of quiet encouragement that boosts confidence in subtle yet powerful ways.

I reconnected with women who helped shape my own RAAF career—mentors, role models, and friends. Women who spoke into my life at just the right moment—whether through a simple text message, a shared debrief, or an act of fierce belief when I doubted myself. It brought into focus that the support of others has shaped every step I’ve taken. Connection isn’t an emotional comfort—it’s catalytic. It fuels courage, fortifies resolve, and elevates performance.

One phrase resonated with me—"a friend in every state." This embodies Nancy Bird Walton's legacy, the founder of AWPA. Her heartfelt goal was simple but profound: every woman aviator should have a friend in each state. This wasn’t about companionship; it was about ensuring no woman feels isolated when facing challenges in her flying adventures. Support is a strategy, friendship is fuel, and connection builds capability.

Here’s the challenge: If you’ve been operating under the myth that high performance is a solo effort, it’s time to reconsider. Connection isn’t a crutch—it’s a catalyst. The next time you're feeling drained, stuck, or out of sorts, don’t just review your sleep or training plan. Review your connections.

Performance Reflection: Connection as Catalyst

Who in your professional life consistently lifts your energy, sharpens your thinking, or anchors your sense of purpose?

·        When was the last time you intentionally nurtured a connection that fuels your performance?

·        How does your mood, motivation, or focus shift in the presence of strong support?

·        Are there relationships you’ve been underestimating that could be reactivated as performance multipliers?

·        How might you model connection as a strategic advantage—not just for yourself, but for those you lead?