Influence is not Peacekeeping

Influence is not being a peacekeeper. It’s not sanding away our edges, softening uncomfortable truths, or silencing our worth.

How often do we shrink ourselves for someone else’s comfort? Or dial down our opinions to a socially acceptable volume?

My own confession to these tendencies would read like an introduction at an AA meeting.

“Hi, I am Belinda Beatty, and I have spent a lifetime negotiating my worth to keep others comfortable.”

Recently, a familiar, much-loved company handed me a mirror. A protracted negotiation exposed a truth I didn’t want to see.

It started innocently enough.

I drew a line. A small act, long overdue.

I stated my value clearly, with no room for retreat or reinterpretation.

A simple declaration of worth.

The resistance was immediate. The discomfort, mutual. And what it revealed was confronting.

About me.

About my lifelong willingness to trade value for harmony.

About the Other—what they had come to expect from me.

I had hoped for recognition and for a rebalanced relationship built on mutual benefit. Instead, I was met with awkward conversations, strained silences, and the subtle shift of becoming “difficult.”

My urge to smooth over the discomfort—reach out, reassure, negotiate myself back into acceptability—was almost irresistible. This is what good-girl conditioning looks like.

I nearly convinced myself that agreeing to their terms would be “for the greater good.”That if I kept showing up, eventually they would see my value.

But this time, I didn’t fold. I held my ground.

The depth of my discomfort showed how commonly I have worked to make conversations easy. Their stance—“we don’t negotiate”—made something very clear: My past willingness to make it easy had been fully absorbed into their expectations.

This time, they didn’t get it.

Later, alone with my thoughts, I tortured myself with imagined losses: relationships, opportunities, future collaborations. But the truth crystallised. If my worth wasn’t recognised, those visions were just fiction—and the connection was conditional.

When we negotiate our worth for someone else’s comfort, then we surrender our influence.

This interaction taught me something profound: I am done making conversations comfortable at the expense of my truth . Standing in my worth allowed me to see where I had given it away . And reclaim it.

The weight of discomfort passes quickly, but the resonance of our alignment compounds.

Here’s the takeaway:

Standing in your worth will not always be met with smiles. But alignment with your worth is the expression of Influence—and that is priceless.

Muse for the day:

Where in your life are you acting out of alignment with your value?